Four Eyed Darlings

Even though the sun hasn't blessed us with its presence on the so cal coast  much this summer there is one accessory that I personally feel affixed to rain or shine, somber or sunny.  The fashionable yet functional sunglass.  Guys we're stoked because almost any black pair of sunnies we throw on our dome will do the trick.  However, women, that vital morsel of your get up is necessitous to a finely honed stylish look.  So what brand of spectacles is right for you?  Hmmm... let's see, first ask yourself, "Am I a Jersey Shore fake 'n baked orange colored umpa loompa?" No, well then Prada, Gucci or D&G may not be your cup of tea.  Second and most importantly ask yourself, "Do I want a pair of shades that make me look damn sexy and make all the boys on the beach go from six to midnight simply from a glimpse of my tan ass and rockin shades?"  If you said yes to that second question then check out Electric's fresh new women's line of sunnies.  Built in a high fashion Italian factory these shades are made from the grandest of materials using delicate designer details.  Details that Kate Moss  herself would find flabbergasting.  That is if Kate Moss wore sunglasses or had a soul and was at all affected by the suns rays.  For some reason she just sparkles when she's outside in the sunlight.

Bro ya later,
.Stinky Britches.

Following in the Footsteps Of...huh?

The daughter of actor Laurence Fishburne, Montanta Fishburne, is making headlines today as the news broke of her aspirations to follow in the footsteps of - wait for it - NOT her famous actor father but Kim Kardashian??  According to TMZ.com, Montana Fishburne is starring in an upcoming movie for Vivid Entertainment set to be released in August and explained, "I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape."
Uh, no shit Montana.  I guess if she's looking to score an E! realtiy show taking a page from the 'Kim K. School of Fucking Your Way to Semi-Celeb Status' is the quickest and dirtiest means to that end.  Best of luck to Montana and Laurence and their next family event...lets just hope they don't compare 'acting' methods.

    

Riley Steele Takes Lesbian Scene Mainstream

Fans at Comic-Con were treated to a glimpse of some steamy girl-on-girl action between model Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele.

The pair is making the media drool with talk surrounding the kissing scene. Brook admitted that the two had "a lot of practice" before filming the raunchy scene for the upcoming horror film Piranha: 3-D. Brook also noted, "It's a lot longer in the film. It goes on for quite a long time."

Digital Playground contract star Riley Steele says she loved shooting her scene with Kelly and can't wait to see it up close & personal in 3-D. Riley states "It's not work when you get to kiss Kelly Brook. She's so hot."

The flick hits theaters in August, but if you're looking to get your fill on some hot action starring Riley - no need to wait, click here!

Can I Pet Your Beer

What's better than an ice cold bottle of beer?  How about an ice cold bottle of beer that comes with a meticulously encased taxedermied rodent coozie... Oh yeah and that beer happens to pack a prodigious 55%  alcohol content!  Drink an entire bottle of this libatious celebration of malted hops and barley and your chipmunk encrusted bottled may start singing Disney tunes and C-walkin before your very eyes.  The brew masters at Brewdog used cutting-edge brewing techniques to give this redneck soda the scant flickering flavors of Juniper berries and other wildernessy delights.  With one sip you'll feel like you stepped out of your drab suburban dwelling into a glorious meadow, Alvin, Simon and Theodore will be there too.  The only hesitation I could possibly see as to why one would not want to purchase this nectar of the gods is the robust price tag, a whopping $650-$900...

Inebriatedly Your,
.Stinky Britches.

Battle Royale: Porn Star vs. "Sex For Tickets" Fan

Porn star and alleged Tiger Woods' mistress, Devon James, will go toe-to-toe with "Sex For Tickets" fan, Susan Finkelstein, in a wrestling match hosted by Big Bang Wrestling in Bellmawr, NJ on July 29th.

You might remember Finkelstein from the much publicized court case where she allegedly offered to trade sex for tickets to the 2009 World Series to see her beloved Philadelphia Phillies baseball team in action. Ms. James was in the headlines when recently she tried to take Tiger Woods to court for a paternity battle.

As if that wasn't enough scandal for you, the match will be guest-refereed by former TV star and celebrity sex tape icon, Dustin "Screech" Diamond.

What more is there to ask for?

Scientists Discover Prehistoric Penis

I just couldn't resist this story. Maybe it's the history buff in me or just my childish sense of humor. But, it's interesting and a little bit funny nonetheless.

Scientists working in remote areas of Scandinavia have recently discovered what appears, at first glance, to be a stone age dildo (albeit a very unimpressive one measuring in at just over four inches). The supposed sex toy is a real "boner" carved from the antler of some ancient beast eons ago.

Although scientists can't confirm whether or not the object was actually used as a sex toy (some claim that it might have been a carving tool), we can all agree that the resemblance is as obvious now as it must have been to the natives centuries ago. Swedish archaeologist Martin Rundkvis said of the ancient phallis on his blog, "Without doubt anyone alive at the time of its making would have seen the penile similarities just as easily as we do today."

Goes to show that sex has been and always will be on our minds.

The Spy Who Came...

Is Russian spy Anna Chapman porn star material? Vivid Entertainment's founder, Steve Hirsch, believes so. The world's leading adult film company has offered the redheaded spy a lucrative movie deal.

Mr. Hirsch states, "Anna was obviously the hottest spy we've seen in years and she was clearly the media's favorite." He continues, "Though she wasn't very successful as a spy, we think she can be a terrific actress in one of our upcoming feature films." Mr. Hirsch added he was also willing to send his top director to Moscow for the shoot.

Anna has appeared in semi-nude photos and her sex life has been the topic of debate among tabloids since the spy story broke. The deported spy is certainly a wanted women again, but more importantly will she make the move to porn?

Pan's Top 10 Hottest Porn Stars

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The Ecstasy & The Agony

A healthy British women in her early thirties was found dead in bed - naked from the waist down. It appears Nicola Paginton suffered cardiac arrest and died while pleasuring herself with a sex toy. Police investigating the death found a vibrator along with a laptop containing pornographic images lying nearby.

Pathologist Dr. Richard Jones stated, "There is nothing in the heart which I can find to explain why Nicola died suddenly." He continued, "More likely than not this occurred from being in a state of arousal."

Nothing but Questions

I don't really know why I'm writing about this but this question has popped into my mind from time to time.  Where is the Universe?  Spatially, everything is somewhere, this is a known fact.  To know where something is spatially requires referencing another location.   I'll give you some professional examples. That hot broad with the huge jacks that sunbaths topless on her deck and thinks no one can see her lives at the top of my street. Or, everyone knows the best Roscoes Chicken and Waffles is the ghetto one in West LA off of Pico.  Ask for Big Mamma she hooks it up!

Even when you use a map, finding a place is dependent on a direct or indirect reference to someplace else. Laying that ground work location can be easily grasped on the relatively small scale like an address or state.  However,  this raises the question what in fact do we know about location on an infinitely larger scale?  We are on planet Earth, Earth is the 3rd planet from our Sun, our Sun is in the Milky Way Galaxy, the Milky Way Galaxy is in the Universe, the Universe is...?   Where the fuck is the fucking Universe?  If everything is somewhere in relation to something else then how can you describe the Universe spatially?  Is it everywhere?  Is it no where?  Have I been smoking pot again? (No mom I don't smoke).

So many questions can be manifested from the above paragraphs.  Mainly, why the hell did I waste my time writing about this?  I hope you can come up with your own answers to the multitude of questions that human kind has been pawing at for thousands of years.  If you come up with anything good comment below, I'd like to hear about it.  Or you can go smoke pot and watch Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman.

Where am I,

.Stinky Britches.

Too Hot To Be A Cop?

Jessie Lunderby, a 21-year-old corrections officer from Arkansas, could lose her job after she was recently featured as Playboy.com's Cyber Girl of the Week. She was featured in the photo spread wearing just a lacy, pink piece of lingerie, and, in some shots, even less.

Jessie says that she informed her bosses that she was going to pose for the photo shoot, and, at the time, they had no issues with it. But suddenly, they are up in arms about it. She is currently on paid administrative leave and under investigation to see if she has broken any policies or ethical codes, or engaged in conduct unbecoming of an officer.

Jessie should be allowed to do whatever she wants on her own time away from her job. If she wants to bare it all for a photo shoot, then that's her choice. Posing for a photo shoot in no way impedes her ability to do her job properly. I think the action taken against her is completely bogus.

Plus, how many of her former co-workers and bosses do you think probably checked out those photos?

But, regardless of the outcome, do you think Jessie has any regrets? Of course not. Jessie told AOL News, "My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner."

Hats off to you Jessie! I hope you do well with whatever your future brings you, whether it's as a jailer or as a centerfold.

Bobbi Eden Promises Oral

Bobbi Eden, the Dutch porn star, has promised her fans via Twitter to give each and every one of them oral sex if the Netherlands wins the World Cup. Prior to the BJ announcement Eden had a little over 4,000 fans, that number has quickly grown to 38,000+. Bobbi has quite the work ahead of her if she plans on sticking to her word - good thing she called on help from fellow porn stars Vicky Vette and Gabby Quinteros.

The Netherlands takes on the winner's of today's Germany Vs. Spain semi-final match on Sunday in the World Cup Final. First it was the Paraguayan lingerie model Larissa Riquelme announcing that she would run the streets naked, now porn stars are offering up blow jobs, too bad the World Cup isn't a yearly event. Guess you'll have to wait another 4 years for more slutty stunts gentlemen.

Practice Safe Surfing: Recent Study Shows XXX Sites Safer

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